I have a new addiction and it's rather embarrassing. I love watching Married at First Sight - specifically the Australian version for some random reason. I've no idea why as I am not a reality show fiend, but it's just one of those shows that you know is rubbish but you get sucked in and find yourself relating to/judging/being offended by the participants and next thing you know, you've watched a whole series.
In last nights binge-watch, a girl reached the altar and announced to her groom-to-be 'Oh, I was expecting someone taller'. Wow - take that in the face shorty. He's just passed months of interrogation by psychologists, He's that rare specimen of a man who truly wants to get married, who is prepared to trust them to find the perfect woman, and yet in those first seconds, that all-important first impression - she wipes the welcoming grin off his face and metaphorically punches him in the gut. He valiantly answered 'Well. I can't do anything about that'. Needless to say, I am not expecting this couple to last more than a few episodes.
And he's right, there is absolutely nothing anyone can do about their height. In the post-wedding vows aftermath, Tall Wifey whinges some more about his stature saying 'I mean I'll never ever be able to wear heels again'. Really? Why not? Maybe he isn't as shallow as you and doesn't have an issue that you're taller than him? Maybe he's pleased that he's eye level with your expensive over pert ginormous breasts exploding from your paid-for-by-the-TV-show dream wedding dress?
What is the obsession with women needing and obsessing about tall men? In these days of equality and acceptance of gender, race and orientation, why can't we accept short? 'He lied about his height', bemoaned a friend after a Tinder date, of course he did as had he not, he would have been left swiped till eternity.
Now I am short, super short, and I am well aware that, were I taller, it might bother me that a man was my height or shorter. But as there is nothing he can do about it why do women have to go on and on and on about it? In all of my years of being fat, and witnessing flickers of disappointment cross my dates faces, none of them ever had the nastiness to actually vocalise 'Oh I was hoping you'd be slimmer'. Well, not to my face at any rate. And realistically, being fat is something I can change. It's pretty rare to hear a woman say 'Oh you're bald!' because (and I quote) - 'well it's not his fault'. News flash - his height isn't his fault either.
In wondering why short shaming is a thing, whilst bald shaming isn't, I realise that it is all about the female ego. Just like a fat, rich older man walks proudly with a tall, leggy young girl on his arm, women think they look better with a tall man towering over them. In the same way that a Chanel handbag, some Prada sandals or a sunset background might improve their latest instastory.
Now I'm aware that the majority of the female participants aren't picked for their intellectual capacity on reality shows, but could they be warned to have a teeny tiny bit of tact please? (Yes, I know that's ludicrous as it's all about ratings not feelings). Imagine if he said 'Wow, I was expecting bigger boobs'. All hell would let loose on social media outing him for the cruel jibe but men seem to know how to keep schtum (even if they're thinking it). Short-shaming somehow isn't on a par with fat-shaming because it doesn't lead to potentially harmful eating disorders, but psychologically, I believe it can be just as hurtful and harmful to the recipient.
Many years ago, I had a Dutch boyfriend, he was probably an 'average for Dutch' 6 foot 4 - well over 190. Did I care that he was 6'4? Not particularly. Did I like having the big tall man by my side? Of course I did. But quite a few of my friends told me, with more than a hint of maliciousness.... that as I was short, I should leave the tall men for them. After all, I could happily date a shorter man. That really pissed me off at the time, I didn't go out to nab a tall man, we just happened to fall for each other, and maybe, just maybe, he had a penchant for short women? Was I supposed to say - much as I am flattered and fancy the pants off you, I'm going to ask you to go chat up my tall friend over there as she needs you more than I do? In retrospect, I wish I had as he cheated and left me heartbroken.... but that's another story 😉
Funny how women can't see men as being short if their diminished stature is compensated by fame or a hefty bank balance.
It's all about self-admiration, not height. She wants to look like the perfect couple she's been instastalking for months, and they always appear to have the optimal height ratio. Even Ken was a half-inch taller than Barbie. However, by ignoring anyone under 1.80, women aren't just being prejudiced but also possibly eliminating the nicest, kindest man of their dreams.
So give short men a break, open your eyes and hearts, lose the ego, drop the façade and be inclusive to all.
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