Paco has lost 200 gms. SO PROUD! The vet told me a few weeks ago that his chunkiness might be the reason he is so snorty and sounds like a small pig. So he has also put himself on a diet. I brought his dinner but he hasn't been eating it, I assume in sympathy with me. But most likely because diet dog croquettes just aren't that yummy. Well if I'm on broth, he can suck up the diet croquettes. 5 kilos. FIVE KILOS. I am ecstatic. I don't feel slimmer, I don't even feel empty and flat stomached, on the contrary, there is still a wodge of quite solid flesh between my boobs and my knicker line that juts out quite harshly when I sit down. Maybe it's all disappearing from my thighs, or, hopefully, my bat fack is melting away. I don't really care - the last time I was this weight was for a month in June/July 2014. I know I'm going to put at least a kilo back on instantly just by my stomach and intestines filling up, but let me relish this moment a little longer. We have both (Paco and I), lost 6% of our body weight. 🥳😃🐕🏃♀️ I've bitched a lot about this place, Stéphane is a scruff bag, and we are sort of left to our own devices. He doesn't take our blood pressure, he doesn't provide water on the walks and we sometimes forget to take any as starvation tends to diminish memory function. The tea selection is rubbish, yesterday I moaned and out of a cupboard appeared 5 teabags of pukka elderberry tea which we leapt on with glee. Noone EVER fills the kettle after emptying it and they all only fill it with what they need - selfish bastards. The rooms are all a bit dusty and this place hasn't seen a window cleaner in a decade. So would I recommend it? No, but there must be better alternatives. So...... should I set up a retreat? Are you all reading this thinking - oooh I want to do that? Or are you thinking - she's a total nutjob and never in a million years will I go more than 6 hours without food. Not that I would want to make a career of this, but the odd week (few days) with friends (who may drop out of the friend zone if we starve together for a week) in a nice villa with all sorts of hippy-dippy meditation and yoga and stuff. Dog-friendly obvs. Let me know..... Today we went on an extra beautiful hike. Only marred by France's spicey water broth breath which seems to emanate from her like that cloud that followed Pig Pen in the Snoopy cartoons. I am relatively perky, even going for a quick 10 minute speed jog to retrieve my phone that I'd left in the car. You're not supposed to jog on a fast, or anything strenuous. Personally, I find 3 hour hikes pretty damn strenuous. Paco is like a mountain goat and gets more excited about these mega hikes every day, he is loving it and his lighter frame must help. The group are amazed that such a tiny thing not only keeps up but does twice the distance running backwards and forwards rounding us up (it's his inner sheepdog). The views are breathtaking and I am extra happy and grateful because its the LAST ONE. After the hike everyone goes to Aix en Provence to the thermal baths, it sounds lovely and I am sure Aix is gorgeous, but I am knackered, and Paco can't go so we head back to the villa to blog and work. And collapse. Disclaimer: stop reading this paragraph if you don't want to hear about my inner workings. I get stomach ache halfway through the afternoon - horrible cramps. And I go to the loo and there is a small explosion. WTF? I haven't eaten since SATURDAY. What is in there? Obviously the Nigari salts 'purge' didn't purge enough. Ugh. I guess I need more work on my digestive process! They come back from the thermal baths that were crap apparently. And we have dinner..... AND..... a treat! A small glass of Kefir, and a small glass of coconut water! I am so excited. I don't even like Kefir, but I drank the lot. Then it was back to the gross broth. Followed by a very long detailed (boring) talk on what we can have when we resume eating. So it's basically fruit and veg for 2 days, then you can add grains for 2 days, then you can add - something else that I can't remember that's how boring it was. No meat or fish until next weekend. Sigh. No mention of getting back on the booze funnily enough. I am pondering sober October, I mean right now the last thing on earth I want is a glass of wine. But I wonder if that will all change as soon as I eat something. Tomorrow I leave! Woo hoo - am so excited. We get juice at 9.30, then breakfast (that word sounds like magic) at 10. I can't imagine it's going to be very interesting, but it will be food, and I will be able to chew it, and that's pretty much all I care about right now. Jean Jacques and France are staying for another week. They deserve to they've been so annoying. I will be out of here as soon as my belly is full. Thanks for reading, I'll give a post fast and hike update next week.
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