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Writer's pictureCarla Webb

The importance of friends

I have a lot of friends. In these social media days, we all have many friends, but I genuinely believe I have more than the average - more REAL friends. Not because I'm special, but having lived in various countries and a job that involved changing colleagues every few months, I've taken every opportunity to accumulate a hugely diverse and eclectic group of friends. They would not all like each other, but that's fine because I like each of them.


In these days of 'family is everything', I want to stress that not everyone has a close-knit family. And that even if you do, friends are still oh so important. Three years ago, some of my friends surprised me for my 50th. It was, without doubt, a total surprise. Not least because it was a good 3 months before my actual birthday 😂.


Surprising me isn't easy at the best of times, I am a planner, I like to take control of things, but they pulled it off after a whole year of sneaking behind my back. The only clue, in retrospect, was that no one was in the least interested in talking about my real birthday plans when I called for a chat. But I didn't hear the alarm bells, I just figured they were understandably disinterested in my party plans in the same way that we all zoned out in younger years when friends wittered on about wedding plans.


I won't go into details about how amazing it was, (it was amazing), but once the two weeks were over, (yup it spanned two whole weeks of surprises and visits), I was invited to join the fb group that had planned it all.


The following is what I added on that fb group back then to thank everyone. It won't all make sense unless you happen to know the participants, but it should convey just how amazing it was to feel that loved by my friends. When I am having a down moment, I just search back for this and it perks me up no end.


Where do I start? I am CONSTANTLY asked whether I had a clue, and I can honestly say that I didn't have a whifter of a snifter of a clue. Not even a tiny doubt, I was genuinely, absolutely convinced I was meeting Tony at La Mala. I didn't even think about anyone surprising me for the real event in November to be honest, am now feeling rather stupid. But VERY VERY LOVED.

So... the next book that I won't write will be called - 'At 49 and a half, I realised I was loved'. I am not exaggerating (yup tearing up again) but I have genuinely never felt that loved in my entire life - not once, not ever, not even anywhere close.

I will, at some point, get around to thanking you all personally. As you know, it's been a tough and stressful 2017 for me with the gorgeous but costly and disaster-prone villa. I have laughed and enjoyed myself more than ever, but at the cost of my sanity, sleep, stress levels and a few bankers. It may well have been the most stupid thing I ever undertook, but just this summer alone has made it all worthwhile.

And in case anyone thought that I was aware of surprise weekend number 2 - I was EVEN MORE clueless. I mean seriously, picking Jennie as your decoy???? GENIUS. How would I ever suspect anything more than Jennie just coming to visit her beloved south of France and (bless her) organising the whole weekend beforehand. I fell into the trap, secure in the knowledge that the wine cellar would be filled and the food glorious (Jo, Scarlett and Jennie - you are my food heroes).

As some of you may know, my mother just underwent an emergency double bypass - a shock to us all and it was very much touch and go for a couple of days. I am pleased to say that she is making a remarkable recovery (she's a northern lass after all). But one of my main thoughts during those stressful hours was that if the worst was to happen, she knew that I had had the most amazing few weeks with my even more amazing friends. My family love me very much I am sure, but struggle to demonstrate it (as do I). So knowing that she knew just what a fabulous time I'd had meant an enormous deal to me as I know she finds it hard to cope with the fact that I have not always been fully accepted or embraced in the family.

I hesitate to single out anyone for special thanks... because you ALL did so much.... but in the spirit of making this the longest fb post ever...

Dina - seriously?? you started BEFORE my 49th! And I thought I was being clever coming to your 'surprise 50th' lol - little did I know it would pale into comparison. I know that not being at La Mala (your fave beach spot ever) and meeting the whole gang must have killed you, and I thank you even more for taking the bullet and letting it happen the weekend that suited the majority. Selfishly, it makes me happier, as I got to spend more time with you the following weekend. And your entrance, on that windy evening, with me in a particularly grumpy windswept sleep-starved mood, was just so perfect and wonderful. You are my oldest friend, you have seen a side of me that no one else has ever witnessed, you are the only person to genuinely understand my past and even our childhood friendship astounded people with its longevity and devotion. You are the first person I shared everything with, and I am sure you will be the last. Our poor mothers, bless them, did what they thought was best at the time, and maybe it was for the best, as finding each other again in the past 5 years has been just remarkable.

Danni. Jeez. 33 hours?? ARE YOU MAD? I was such a weird menopausal cow to you stressing about your trip in November and there you were planning this all along. I know that without your organisational skills and perseverance this wouldn't have happened. I can't thank you enough, I LOVED spending a few weeks with you, and, as ever, it felt like we'd never been apart. I am so glad that all my other friends got to hang out with you and realise why you've been my best friend and travel buddy ever. Distance will never affect our friendship, we've done the globe, we'll do it more, and if there was a single catalyst to me feeling genuinely properly loved, it was seeing you off at the airport just a couple of weeks ago. (yup, I have issues).

Kathleen - bloody hell, who knew you could be such a good liar? Is your life not busy enough? Not one single second did I doubt your story. If Prada folds, Hollywood awaits..... And the icing on the cake - you got Tony to text me last week! Oh did I laugh.... maybe we will have the Tony reunion in the not too distant future.

Jo - well if I didn't cry quite as much when you showed up, it's just because you have become the perma fixture down here. I'm not sure if Paco or I love you more - its a close call. For someone who was hesitant to even come visit Monaco at the beginning, (and who doesn't like small dogs), you have become my bestest most regular visitor and you're the reason I'm confident enough to know that my move down here was the right one. You've built me furniture, and Zen gardens, you've made rosé corner iconic, you've listened patiently to all my witterings and you've calmed me down when I've had villa crisis after crisis. You've fed me (and most of Verbier) for years, but this summer you have excelled yourself with fantastic feasts for the constant array of guests that have come through. Where would I be without you in my life? Not sure I even want to contemplate that.....

The rest of you.... (because if I singled you all out it would become ridiculous), you have shaped my life, you've helped me in so many ways, from dogsitting at the chalet, to high pressure hosing the villa terrace and so much in between. Your generosity has touched me beyond belief, I actually think I came out of the whole thing financially better off than before it started...! Thank you thank you thank you for the planning, the deviousness, the effort, the time, for being my friends.

I thought I was partied out, but I am saving a little energy for my actual birthday in November - something casual in Verbier me thinks! I hope a lot of you will be there, and once again, an enormous thank you for coming, for organising, for the book (so emotional - I love it), and for being the best friends a girl could wish for. We all need friends, but some of us need them more than others for all sorts of reasons. I'm one of those people - and you are all awesome.

Love you all xxxxx


So put on your to-do list or in your reminders a note to call a random friend once a month, or meet someone you don't see that often for a chat, or send a distant friend an email or a card. It brings so much joy and happiness and can make someone feel really special when they might just need it.




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