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Writer's pictureCarla Webb

The Reckoning

Trigger warning : this isn't particularly funny as the majority of my posts aim to be. But it is relevant to my age and era so I decided to jot it down anyway.


The Reckoning is a 4 part BBC documentary/dramatisation about Jimmy Saville. For all of my non UK followers - you may as well stop reading now as hopefully you have no idea who I'm talking about.


I didn't want to watch The Reckoning - I figured I had already watched enough documentaries about the foul man who died before he was outed and made to pay for to his crimes. Not just in terms of legal punishment, but the shame and realisation that he was no longer a beloved television personality but a despised dirty old man. He got away with his perversions by dying but still he enjoyed life to the ripe age of 84.


Jimmy Saville fooled all but a small minority. He was a predator, a pedophile, an abuser, a necrophiliac and more. Is there a worse type of human being? He didn't murder people, but he certainly murdered peoples souls and destroyed their lives and that's just as bad. The few people who did see him for what he was were either too frightened to speak out, or they were silenced.


Just a year after his death, he was portrayed in an ITV documentary as being a vile sexual abuser who used his fame to not only facilitate his revolting behaviour, but also to escape retribution for it. He's not the first, he certainly won't be the last, but he might be the worst - or at least I hope so.


I have never doubted the accusations from the moment they hit the headlines but I can't say that it suddenly made sense. Jimmy was a fixture of television throughout my childhood. I had never seen him as creepy, just a man on the telly with strange white hair, a recognisable voice and dozens of catchphrases. You can't deny his creativity or talent that took him from the coal mines of Leeds to being arguably the most recognised person on television in the 70's and 80's. To preteen me though, he was just some old bloke with a northern accent who made people laugh.


In 2012, I watched and read the news about his predatory behaviour and was as revolted and disgusted as the next person that such an influential figure had got away with horrendous crimes against the young, the impressionable, the disabled and the dead. Consequently, by the time 'The Reckoning' was released just this month, I figured I had already seen more than enough about this revolting man. But whilst channel flicking and not finding any suitably trashy programs to entertain me this week, (I am embarrassingly addicted to 'Married at First Sight' and hate that it's only on 4 nights a week), I launched 'The Reckoning', fully expecting to nod off within the first 15 minutes.


Contrary to later generations, our childhoods were not often filmed and recorded for posterity, so a program that awakens the sounds and sights of my youth is quite compelling. I was transported back to those years, years where you planned what programs you were going to watch each week, where the whole family sat around the tv dead on 7.30 on a Thursday for Top of the Pops and Saturday afternoon for Jim'll Fix It.


I didn't think I could learn much more about Jimmy's career. The TV shows, running marathons, the fundraising, building awareness of Stoke Mandeville Hospital and the amazing things they do for spinal injuries. The Reckoning was almost a pleasant reminder of those times, despite the not so pleasant subject matter. Nonetheless, by watching with the eyes of an adult in 2023 I saw my era from a whole new light.


Those were the days when girls were supposed to be pretty and shut up. If a man groped you, no matter how gross it felt, you would giggle it off. Maybe even think how lucky you were to be attractive enough for someone to want to pinch your bum or wolf whistle as you walked down the street. If you were assaulted, it was 100% your fault. Why were you there? What were you wearing? You must have been 'asking for it'.


Despite the bad wigs, Steve Coogan's acting as Jimmy is impressive. His perfect rendition of that all too familiar voice evoked all sorts of memories in me and none of them bad. That Yorkshire pronunciation and rhythm reminded me of when my Grandma would read me a bedtime story, her voice lulling me to sleep. Possibly because of the Yorkshire link, Jimmy's voice felt safe. He was a famous personality, he raised millions for charities, was devoted to his mother and made dreams come true for countless children on Jim'll Fix It. How could he not be a good person?


Had I been lucky enough to have been invited onto Jim'll Fix It or the holy grail of Top of the Pops, I would have begged my parents to go and they wouldn't have doubted that I would be safe in a studio at the BBC surrounded by adults. The girls who were abused during the Top of the Pops era were confused and petrified. Of course you would have accepted an invitation into his dressing room for an autograph or to meet a pop-star. Equally, you wouldn't tell your parents, or anyone for that matter, if Jimmy had touched you inappropriately or forced you to perform sexual acts on him, especially if you had begged them to go in the first place. You would have felt guilty, ashamed, worried.


Adults were always right back then. ALWAYS. In the very early 80's a male teacher at my all girls school slapped one of my classmates. This was, in my mother's eyes, absolutely warranted, as the girl had undoubtedly spoken out of turn, been disruptive or badly behaved in class. My fathers opinion was never asked, and he wouldn't have been interested anyway. If your Chemistry teacher can slap 13 year olds unpunished, then why on earth would a teenage girl (or boy) dare accuse a much loved television personality of being anything less than charming and generous.


I am sure that if I was under 35 watching 'The Reckoning' today, I would be less sympathetic as to why these girls didn't dare to tell their parents, or teachers, or an appropriate adult that they trusted. But we were raised by the Keep Calm and Carry On generation and they raised us to be a Keep Quiet and Carry On generation. Don't make a fuss, don't draw attention to yourself, don't show off.


I am the first to eye roll at millennials and their need for avocado toast but I am equally so happy that they have a voice and dare to speak out. Yes they can be precious, but how wonderful is it that despite their ability to despair about trivialities, they also feel safe enough to tell us when they feel insecure, violated or just 'weirded out'.


Woke-ness will help prevent predators like Jimmy Saville from happening again. I am not a woke fan (Harry and Meghan, you need to literally calm the fuck down from your privileged ivory tower), but being woke isn't a one trick pony. It has enabled so many people to have a voice. There will always be abusers of that voice, and critics too, but for those that are genuine, at least they have a voice. The Me Too movement, Black Lives Matter and numerous other hashtags are showing the younger generation that they do not need to Keep Quiet or Shut Up and Put Up and that's such a positive.


It's not easy to out a famous person. In the past, people who have accused famous personalities of unacceptable behaviour have been silenced, humiliated, and had their lives and pasts picked to shreds. The star sometimes gets their comeuppance, but often not. It can destroy families and relationships for both parties. The risk of 'losing' your case against someone who has the power of fame and forceful lawyers behind them is high. So it's tempting to stay quiet but equally so important to speak up so that the perpetrators get what they deserve.


There are still Jimmy Saville style predators out there today, but they won't get away with such atrocities for as long because our children know they can speak up without fear of reprisal or shame. We have learned from the mistakes of the past, and that's a good thing. Make sure your kids know that they never have to bury an uncomfortable experience, maybe even watch The Reckoning with them (older kids obviously!) to show them how harmful staying quiet can be. It's not easy speaking up, but it's so very important.


Thanks as always, for reading and I promise I'll have a chirpier subject next time! If you have a subject you'd like me to rant about, don't hesitate to send me suggestions.




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